Ballad of the Incel Man - Tim Heidecker

I’m down in the basement

Making signs out of love

And there’s a big-time special guest tonight

Coming in from above

This town hasn’t seen such excitement

Since John Cena back in 0−9

That arena is known for its wrestlin' matches

But tonight we’re gonna have ourselves a different kind

A different kind of good time

And I’m gonna take my mama

And her sister aunt Marie

And I hope I’ll find a like-minded girl

Tonight at the Trump rally

I’m gonna take a shower

And shave so I look good

Wear my «Hillary for Prison» shirt

Like a good boy should

Gonna show up there early

Watch the motorcade arrive

Gonna grill up some meat in the parking lot

They say the doors will open at five

Yeah, the doors will open at five

Got my picture of Obama

Which we’ll burn in effigy

But I hope I’ll find a like-minded girl

Tonight at the Trump rally

Maybe I’ll get to sit

Behind the man they love to hate

And watch him throw a fit

About problems I can’t contemplate

Oh, sometimes he scares me

When he goes on one of those rants

Sometimes I don’t know what he’s talking about

But it makes them liberals shit their pants

Oh, it makes them shit their pants

Oh, it gives them such trauma

And it makes us so happy

Oh, I just wanna find a like-minded girl

Oh, I really wanna find a like-minded girl

Yes, I just want to find a like-minded girl

Tonight at the Trump rally