Wonderful World of Sex - Steve Goodman

I could learn to understand Swahili by myself

I could even teach it to my good dog, Ralph

I could learn to read you every book up on the shelf

I could learn to tell your fortune like the oracle of Delphi

I could learn to tell you every flower by its color

I could learn to swim as fast as Johnny Weismuller

But I couldn’t never learn to get along without you

Don’t you run away from me, I sure dig sex

You can get love from your papa or your mama

You can get warm from a Turkish or a sauna

You can get hot from tortillas or lasagna

But you get all three when you neck with me

I really must confess it gets me in the solar plexus

When I think about the differences there are between the sexes

Peanut butter sandwiches are really neat

But when you get right down to it you can’t compete with

Good old double S — E — double X is

Camper than batman, bigger than Texas

You’re concave and I’m convex

Welcome to the world of sex

Do I love you, is the Pope Catholic?

Do I need you, is a rubber band elastic?

Do I want you, is the atom bomb drastic?

Let’s us be heterosexually entwined, we fit like a tailored suit dear

I dig you more than I dig root beer

Green Giant peas need a big green pod

I spend a lot of time needing your bod

Walking around through fields of clover

Can’t we lie down and talk things over?

You never know whats coming off next

In the wonderful world of sex