It's Hard to Be the Emperor - Stephin Merritt

It’s hard to be Emperor

And when it’s hard, it’s hard

I’m scarred by being Emperor

No ball, no friends, no yard

My predecessor hanged himself

And I might do that too

The entertainment’s awful here

And oh, the plays they do!

It’s dull to be the Emperor

It’s deadly dull, in fact

Of all the actors in the court

Not one of them can act

An early death seems probable

Perhaps it’s just as well

With drama in this dreadful state

My life’s a living hell!

My life’s a living hell