Historia de un Tenedor - Santaflow

Iba yo en el bus con dolor de muelas

Deseoso de tomar un sabroso espidifen

Pero esa basura te revienta el estómago

Los médicos dicen «mejor después de comer»

El caso es que salí de casa con las prisas

Y solo me había dado tiempo a tomar café

Por eso cogí una lata de anchoas, un tomate, un tenedor

Y en la mochila los eché

De camino a la parada compré el pan

Y cogí la rula de milagro, pa' variar

En el asiento de atrás encontré prensa local

Y leer no leí na', pero me vino genial

Usé el periódico como mantel

Y me dispuse a hacer un bocadillo del diez

Como no tenía cuchillo, la lié bien

Abrí la barra con las uñas y los dientes, ¡imagínate!

Hay que joderse, como lo puse todo de migas

Las marujas me miraban sorprendidas

Y es que una cosa es apañarse un sandwichito de jamón

Y otra, ponerse a abrir latas pa' maquear un flautón

Y si pa' abrir la pistola monté un show de flipar

Pa' hacer rodajas al tomate, no te quiero contar

El tenedor era para pinchar las anchoas

Después de muchos esfuerzos, a gusto pude zampar

Tenía más hambre que Carracuca

Por eso duró unos tres minutos el festín

Los papeles, el aceite y el trocito que dejé

Los tiré bajo un asiento, un poco cerdo sí que soy, lo sé

Pensé en guardarme el tenedor en el petate

Pero no veas cómo olía a pescadilla el condena’o

Por eso y aunque lo sentí por la cubertería

Lo dejé entre los asientos abandona’o

¿Cómo iba a saber yo todo aquello que pasó?

Historia de un tenedor

Ríete cabrón, pero no veas la que se montó

¿Cómo iba a saber yo todo aquello que pasó?

Historia de un tenedor

Tú ríete cabrón, pero no veas…

Se conoce que al buseto se subió un yonkarra

Y se puso en el asiento en el que yo estaba

Como no había ni dios, abrió un poco la ventana

Y sin ponerse colora’o, se empezó a hacer una plata

El conductor que estaba constipa’o, ni se coscaba

Solo condujo hasta llegar a la parada

Donde se subió un ejecutivo, típico estira’o

Que llevaba un día horrible y que volvía to' quema’o

Se sentó dos filas delante del que te cuen…

Y enseguida le llegó el olor a droga adulterada

Por lo visto, aquello no le sentó bien

Y se levantó con cara de loco, pegando voces alteradas

El jodido toxicómano ni se enteraba (Eh, tronco)

Así que el yupi rebota’o le calzó un par de patadas

En ese momento fue que el Yoni reaccionó

Se sacó una chiringuilla del bolsillo y se encaró

El del traje recordó sus tiempos mozos de y se dijo

«Si esta escoria me amenaza, no se queda así»

Evitó el ataque, se hizo rápido con su oponente

Y no paró, hasta que sintió las manos bien calientes

Se dio la vuelta pa' volver hasta su asiento

Entonces lo sintió y se quedó sin aliento

Una aguja fría que en su carne penetraba

Se giró con la mirada ensangrentada y chilló

«¡Me has jodido, seguro que me has pegado el sida!

«Pero te lo juro, de este bus, tú no sales con vida»

En lo que el vehiculo pasó por la rotonda

El adicto al jaco se llevó tremenda tunda

Qué mundo tan pequeño, aquel bigardo encontró el tenedor

Y poseído por la furia, lo utilizó

Dice el informe que en la cuenca del globo ocular penetró

Y que la pérdida de masa fulminó al Yon

¿Cómo iba a saber yo todo aquello que pasó?

Historia de un tenedor

Ríete cabrón, pero no veas la que se montó

¿Cómo iba a saber yo todo aquello que pasó?

Historia de un tenedor

Tú ríete cabrón, pero no veas… joder

Voy a ser sincero, ¡Me la sudan los dos!

Es más, por su culpa me he buscado una movida

El ejecutivo agresivo, llevaba guantes el cabrón

Y encontraron mis huellas en el curioso arma homicida

I was on the bus with a toothache

Eager to take a tasty espidifen

But that shit makes your stomach bust

Doctors say "better after eating"

The fact is that I left home in a hurry

And I only had time to drink coffee

That's why I took a can of anchovies, a tomato, a fork

And I put them in the backpack

On the way to the stop I bought the bread

And I took the miracle roll, for a change

In the back seat I found local press

And I didn't read anything, but it was great for me

I used the newspaper as a tablecloth

And I set out to make a ten sandwich

Since I didn't have a knife, I messed it up

I opened the bar with my nails and my teeth, go figure!

You have to fuck yourself, as I put all of crumbs

The marujas looked at me surprised

And it is one thing to manage a little ham sandwich

And another, start to open cans to make a flute

And if to open the gun I put on a freak show

To make tomato slices, I don't want to tell you

The fork was to pierce the anchovies

After many efforts, I was able to eat

I was hungrier than Carracuca

That's why the feast lasted about three minutes

The papers, the oil and the piece that I left

I threw them under a seat, a bit of a pig yes I am, I know

I thought about keeping my fork in my backpack

But don't see how the condemnation smelled like whiting

For that and although I felt sorry for the cutlery

I left it between the abandoned seats

How was I supposed to know everything that happened?

Story of a fork

Laugh bastard, but do not see the one that was mounted

How was I supposed to know everything that happened?

Story of a fork

You laugh bastard, but don't see...

It is known that a yonkarra got on the bus

And he got in the seat that I was in

Since there was no god, he opened the window a little

And without turning red, they began to make silver

The driver who was constipated, didn't even coscaba

He only drove until he reached the stop

Where an executive got on, typical stretched out

That he had a horrible day and that he came back to burn

He sat two rows in front of the one who told you…

And right away he got the smell of adulterated drugs

Apparently, that didn't sit well with him

And he got up with a crazy face, hitting altered voices

The fucking drug addict didn't even know (Hey, trunk)

So the yuppie bounced or gave him a couple of kicks

It was at that moment that the Yoni reacted

He took a chiringuilla out of his pocket and faced

The one in the suit remembered his youthful days and said to himself

"If this scum threatens me, it doesn't stay that way"

He dodged the attack, made quick with his opponent

And he didn't stop, until he felt his hands very warm

He turned around to go back to his seat

Then he felt it and he gasped

A cold needle that penetrated his flesh

He turned around with bloody eyes and yelled

“You screwed me up, I'm sure you gave me AIDS!

«But I swear to you, you will not get out of this bus alive»

As the vehicle passed through the roundabout

The jaco addict took a tremendous beating

What a small world, that bigardo found the fork

And possessed by fury, he used it

The report says that in the basin of the eyeball penetrated

And that the loss of mass killed the Yon

How was I supposed to know everything that happened?

Story of a fork

Laugh bastard, but do not see the one that was mounted

How was I supposed to know everything that happened?

Story of a fork

You laugh bastard, but don't see... damn

I'm going to be honest, both of them sweat me!

What's more, because of him I have looked for a move

The aggressive executive, the bastard wore gloves

And they found my prints on the funny murder weapon