The Bard's Tale - Richie Branson

So you know I don’t give a shit

Undefeated 'cause my flow is so ridiculous

Like a ranger with a bow I don’t ever miss

Used to run dungeons from the A.M.

to the P.M.

(P.M.)

Now I’m lucky if I get a session on the weekend (Weekend)

Ladies made fun of me back when I was a DM (Master)

Now they see me rapping they stay jumping in my DMs

Aw shit, aw shit, I think I’m getting old

Started off with tabletops now I’m on MMOs

Bought a brand new set of dice that I don’t get to roll

I’m just trying to find the time to level up my rogue

They try to get me into Everquest

But I didn’t want to play without my spell deck (Nope)

I don’t want to try new things, I think that’s evident

I’m guessing old school is what I represent

Look, I’m on a quest (I'm on a quest)

I’m on a quest (I'm on a quest)

I just blew my whole check on a deck (On a deck)

I got 20 sided dice in my vest (In my vest)

I got maxed out stats, bitch I’m blessed (Bitch I’m blessed)

Look, I’m on a quest (I'm on a quest)

I’m on a quest (I'm on a quest)

I just blew my whole check on a deck (On a deck)

I got 20 sided dice in my vest (In my vest)

I got maxed out stats, bitch I’m blessed (Bitch I’m blessed)

Never had the time to pay attention to my haters (Haters)

I was busy spending paper on that pen and paper (Paper)

If she’s not a roleplayer I could never date her (Date her)

I don’t think this song could ever make it into Fader (Fader)

I remember getting wood for no reason (No)

Used to go to school in hand-me-downs and old sneakers (Nike)

But when I hit the dungeon, got a lot of gold pieces

I was chasing after platinum like and no features (None)

I was making money mowing all my neighbor’s yards (Yards)

Hit the store and spent it all on all the latest cards (Cards)

Always had my party smoking victory cigars

Never went to class unless we talkin' 'bout my bard (OP)

That’s why I’m not tryin' to pay off my tuition (No)

Never needed education, I just needed vision (Never)

Playing table top, I’m dedicated like religion (God)

Plus I’m slightly over-powered in the 5th edition

Listen, I’m on a quest (I'm on a quest)

I’m on a quest (I'm on a quest)

I just blew my whole check on a deck (On a deck)

I got 20 sided dice in my vest (In my vest)

I got maxed out stats, bitch I’m blessed (Bitch I’m blessed)

Look, I’m on a quest (I'm on a quest)

I’m on a quest (I'm on a quest)

I just blew my whole check on a deck (On a deck)

I got 20 sided dice in my vest (In my vest)

I got maxed out stats, bitch I’m blessed (Bitch I’m blessed)