Nigger WIth a Seizure - Richard Pryor

Drinkin'—drinkin' ain’t cool, drinkin' ain’t cool

None of this shit is cool

I remember at home, man, dudes used to drink and shit and then wanna fight

Some niggas drink, you know, and have a seizure

You know, everybody know one nigga that drink and every weekend get his ass

whooped

He never wins a fight but he always wanted to fight, you nah’mean

Nice guy during the week «Hi, hi, how are you?»

Weekend: «Muthafucka!Get out my face!»

You go to the bar, man, you see him in the bar

Cats be in the bar, be fucked up, but he starts

Yo, man, leave me alone, nigga!

Shit, you ain’t have to fuck with me, baby!

Keeps me some money!

I buy my own shit, man!

Say, man, bartender, nigga, give me my whiskey!

What?!

I’m drunk?!

Nigga… fuck you mean I’m drunk, muthafucka?!

You crazy?!

Shit, you didn’t say that an hour ago…

When you were sellin' me that shit!

Baby, I’m buying everybody in here… somethin'

Give me a beer—for everybody, one muthafuckin' beer, haha, woo!

Sing that song, you bitch!

That muthafucka sing her ass off, baby!

Woo, shit!

What you looking at, bitch?!

Ugly muthafucka!

Ain’t nobody fuckin' wit' you!

I didn’t say nothin' to you!

No, I don’t know what time it is!

It’s time for you to stop fuckin' wit' me!

Shit, you dig that, Frankie?

What, what is it, nigga?

I don’t care if that’s yo' ma…*smack*

No, don’t hold me, muthafucka!

Nah, nigga, you don’t hit me, baby!

Nah, muthafucka, you in trouble now, baby!

Believe that shit!

*smack*

Don’t nobody kick me in the ass!

*vomit*

Oh God, please… *vomit*

Oh Lord, don’t let me be sick *vomit*

Frankie, get me home, baby, please

Ah man, don’t drive so fast

Oh please, don’t stop…*vomit*

Put down the window, oh please

Put it up, it’s too cold

Oh Lord, please, Lord, I’ll quit, I quit…

Everything’s going jibbity jibbity jibbity jibbity

Please God…*vomit*

Frankie, thank you, partner

Muthafucka kicked me in the ass, baby!

I'll kill that muthafucka!

Ah, make up your mind, God, please…

I ain’t got nothin' left to throw up but my nuts… ah, ah-ah-ah…oh shit

Open that muthafuckin' door, baby

Ay, ay mama, good morning to you

What’s wrong with you, bitch?!

What you screamin' on me for?!

I’ve been out in the street tryna protect your honor

Shit, I damn near had to kill a nigga 'bout you

If they don’t pull me off of his ass

I know my breath stink, bitch!

Ain’t nothin' but some vomit

Let me wipe my mouth off then, mama

You’s a fine muthafucka, baby!

Come here, come here, bitch, move your hand

Let me play with a titty, hahaha

Move your muthafuckin' hand, ooh, ha

I’m gon' fuck you tonight, baby, believe that shit!

*snoring*