One Night On Westminster Bridge - Pig with the Face of a Boy

The water is deep, the current is strong

If you jump in the Thames you will die.

Oh.

You want to die.

If you jump into the Thames it will merely cause permanent

Damage to your spinal cord.

Look, if it helps, I never liked you.

Most things you do are basically harmful.

But I don’t want to see you die.

What should you do?

What can I say?

Please don’t jump, Mr Cameron

Don’t tumble to a watery grave

You mustn’t take to heart that you’ve made a rotten start

And the people cry: «We all hate Dave»

Though your party is turning against you

And the voters think that you’re a prick

You’re out of opposition and you’ve formed a coalition

So simply put the blame on Nick.

Turn around, Mr Cameron

It’s sad to see you so upset

Though it makes you feel a bitch putting taxes on the rich

They will help to clear the national debt.

There are hard times ahead but remember

What a pain it is to drown

So remember what you’re for, give the finger to the poor

And blame it all on Gordon Brown.

Take my hand, Mr Cameron

Don’t be blue that you are Tory scum

Though the carbon in the sky means the polar bears will die

You will save them with uranium

When your world falls to pieces around you

Remember you’re a millionaire.

When the soldiers die at war, just do what you did before

And blame it all on Tony Blair.

Walk this way, Mr Cameron

Go back to your home and fight

You shall live another day — but there’s something in your way:

It’s those nutters on the Tory Right.

There’s a girl and you could imitate her

In evil you could even match her:

Get your party back on side and increase the class divide

And blame it all on Margaret Thatcher.

Blame it all on Margaret Thatcher

«Smash the Unions!»

Blame it all on Margaret Thatcher

«Deregulate the banks!»

Blame it all on Margaret Thatcher

Thatcher, Thatcher, Thatcher, Thatcher.