I'm so Ashamed (From "Peter and Sophia") - Peter Sellers, Sophia Loren

They say that I’m too old I guess I’m coming up for nine

Me curly hair is getting thin — it’s all them women and wine

But I’m oh so ashamed

It’s been three weeks since I had

A record in the top twenty pops

It hurts me when I thinks as how at eight I was top of the pole

They screamed every time I just opened me mouth and rocked in the aisles with

me roll

Now I’m oh so ashamed

They all say me discs are flops

‘Cos I haven’t got a record in the top twenty pops

I’ve tried ooh-aahs and I’ve giggled

I’ve rocked it and I’ve skiffled

I’ve sung an old song and not no-one could make out a word

It’s the truth!

I’ve clapped me hands ‘til the blood run

I’ve had echoes til me head spun

Til me head spun

Til me head spun

But they say you’re too old, too long in the tooth

Give us youth!

I’ve had me breakdown in the papers

Dyed me hair a luminous green

I’ve wobbled me hips in sexy-like capers

And me sideboards meet under me chin

But I’m oh so ashamed

It’s been three weeks since I had

A record in the top twenty pops

I’ve held high notes, real classy

Til me eyes went all glassy

I’ve sung a duet with meself — nearly ruptured me throat

I’ve tried humming and hot drumming

I’ve broke ten guitars with me strumming

But it always turns out some Charlie has done it before

What’s the matter with me platters, they say I should try a new kick

But me nerves is hanging in tatters, I’ve done me nut til I’m fair off me wick

And I’m oh so ashamed

It’s been three weeks since I had

A record in the top twenty pops

Me discs are slipping!

I haven’t got a record in the top twenty pops

Please buy this record.

Please!