You Never Stay - My Fictions

A constant state of half awake

Why can’t I stay?

I can’t escape

I hate myself for feeling nothing

No matter what, I stray

I go again and again

And again and again and again

But I can’t stop myself

But what’s the point of all this suffering?

Why do I starve?

Is there comfort to be left in loss?

Does it help to know

That the end is just the end

And that the distance has always been there?

I’m just more aware of how close it is to here

It’s surrounding us when we lie together

And it’s there when I miss your calls

I’m not myself

I feel the change

I’m falling down

Fading away

Why can’t I stay?

I can’t escape

I find myself

Stuck

You say it’s easier down the road

«I know»

But what I’m working towards

I’m building it alone

Because we’re the patient ones

We wait, we wait, we waste, we waste

But what’s the point of deserving days

That you’ll never claim?