Uptown, Downtown - Mandy Patinkin

Ah, this is the tale of the dame known as Harriet

Who climbed to the top of the heap from the bottom

A beautiful life was her aim and to vary it

She wanted the sun and the moon and she got 'em

She isn’t the least exhausted from her climb

But she does look back from time to time

And the subject of this evening’s quiz

Is who she was and who she is

Uptown

She’s stepping out with the swell

Downtown

She’s holding hands on the El

Hyphenated Harriet

The nouveau from New Rochelle

Uptown

She’s got the Vanderbilt clan

Downtown

She’s with the sidewalk Cezanne

Hyphenated Harriet

The nouveau from New Rochelle

She sits at the Ritz with her splits of Mumms and starts to pine for a stine

with her Village chums

But with the schlitz in her mitts down at Fitzroy’s Bar

She thinks of the Ritz so it’s so schizo

Uptown

It’s Harry Winston she needs

Downtown

Strictly zircons and beads

Ask her

Should she be uptown or down?

She two of the most miserable girls in town