Glamazonian Airways, Pt. 1 - Lucian Piane

Welcome aboard.

Glamazonian airways

Hello everybody!

Good evening!

Welcome aboard I’m miss valerie valentine

I’m your economy slash coach stewardess or you could call me a flight attendant

But I don’t care for that word «attendant"cause it makes me sound like a waiter

or somebody -- I’m not

I appreciate your attention at this time.

We should be taking off shortly.

I would expect all kind of madness and turbulence to ensue

Please fully recline your chairs, turn on the massage function, and get ready

to be happy, hunny

Welcomee aboard, glamazonian airways, the queens of the sky

There are 8, 000 people on board!

Now listen up

Looking for an exit

I’ll make it clear

There are two in the front and one in the rear

You don’t give a beep unless you a frequent flyer

Smoking ain’t allowed unless your pussy on fire

Ohhhh we keep our wigs in the overhead bins (we do)

Oh, so none of your beep is gonna fit in. (sorry bout it)

If you drink enough alcohol you can fly anywhere, and you don’t need a plane

There’s a seat belt seat belt in each of your seats

It’s there to make you skinny

It’s gonna be pulled real tight, real tight, real tight, real tight

Tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter…

Now really that is far too tight.

How do you expect anyone to breathe?

When the oxygen mask drop down

Soaring through clouds and everyone feels it.

Sucking it in and out getting so high

We can’t believe it

All your troubles they’ll still be

Simply come imagination

Take my hands and fly with me

On a transworld transportation

There’s a man on the window of the plane

It’s a woman!

It’s a man!

It’s a woman!

It’s a man!

I believe they call them «drag queens»