Samson and the Warden - Loudon Wainwright III

Once I got locked up in a dirty old jail

And the coffee was cold and the cornbread was stale

And I didn’t cry, I tried to be brave

Till the warden tried to give me a haircut and a shave

Warden you can hold me for a year in your jail

But don’t shave off my beard, don’t cut my ponytail

All you really found was some stems and some seeds

I’ll give you my earring and I’ll give you my beads

I don’t mind wearing one of your prison suits

I’ll give you my bell-bottoms and my cowboy boots

Don’t shave off my beard, don’t cut off my hair

It took me two years to grow it, and it just isn’t fair

Listen to me warden, won’t you listen to me beg

Chop off a toe, a foot, or take a whole leg

I’m down on my knees man, you’re robbing my strength

Take it easy warden, won’t you leave me some length

I want a lawyer warden, I want a priest

Oh take it easy warden, leave the moustache at least

The warden didn’t hear a single word that I said

He took off all the hair on my face and on my head

But one day someone’s gonna come

And gonna put up my bail

And I’m gonna walk out of this dirty old jail

And the warden who’s the reason I’m sheddin my tears

I’m gonna mail him in a snapshot in two or three years