Wtf Collective - Jon LaJoie

Other rappers are comprehensible, not me

First on the mic, MC Confusing!

I took a piss on my nutsack and called it Jack Black

It’s a fact, I got more rhymes than Zach Braff takin' a nap

I attack mothafuckas wearin' purple backpacks

And I snack on towel racks then take a shit on your track

Yeah you’re whack, 'cause everybody understands what you say

But when I get on the mic I make milk out of clay

And I play air guitar with a tube of toothpaste

And I say karate pencil case then put it on tape

Yo I’m MC Insecure, what’s up?

I really don’t think that I’m good enough

To be rhymin' on this track 'cause my lyrics suck

All my verses fall flat like a hockey puck

It took me 7 months to write the first part of my verse

And now I got nothin' left so I’ll pretend that I got hurt

(Ow! Ahh, I think I sprained my ankle.

You guys go ahead and finish the song without me.)

Yo MC Amnesia up in this bitch

Woke up 5 days ago lyin' in a ditch

Didn’t know who I was, I couldn’t remember shit

Apparently something happened that was tra-ma-tic

I used to have more rhymes but I can’t remember them

Seriously, I’m freakin' out, I can’t remember anything

What’s my mothafuckin' name?

(Seriously, does anyone know what my name is?)

Yo I’m MC Public Urination, what what

I take a fckin' piss on the fckin' sidewalk

Anytime, anyplace, I just whip out my c0ck

And empty my bladder while you mothafuckas watch

You other MCs can’t handle this shit

You’re just a little bitch, 'fraid to pee in public

You run into a toilet every time you have to piss

Yo, fck that shit, I just whip out my dick

Yo MC Fatigue, yeah that’s me

Everytime I grab the mic I fckin' fall asleep

I’m the guy who sings the chorus

(It breaks up the song)

My part is kinda boring

(I wish that I could go home)

But they’re payin' me to sing the chorus

(And I really need the cash)

'Cause I’m unemployed at the moment

(Just moved back in with my dad)

Yo I’m MC Doesn’t Know What Irony Is

Walked up to a girl and I gave her a kiss

She said «Let's go to your place, I’ll suck your dick.»

I said, «Hell yeah bitch, that’s so ironic.»

Yo I’m MC Gets Side-Tracked Easily

My rhymes are badass like Gandolfini

You know he’s known for the Sopranos but he’s also in movies

Like Get Shorty and Terminal Velocity

Which I didn’t really like 'cause I don’t like Charlie Sheen

Well I guess in Hot Shots he was kinda funny

But I prefer Leslie Nielsen in the Naked Gun

You know who else was in that movie?

O.J.

Simpson

Which is kinda weird knowin' what he did after that

Wait, what was I sayin'?

I think I got side-tracked

Yo I’m MC Lethal Weapon 1, 2, & 3

I really liked those movies but the 4th disappointed me

Danny Glover, Mel Gibson, and Joe Pesci

Why did they have to make a 4th?

They had a perfect trilogy

MC Lethal Weapon 4, that’s me

I disagree with MC Lethal Weapon 1, 2, & 3

Although I agree that it is a ground-breakin' trilogy

The 4th was also good, they added Chris Rock and Jet Li

Yo I’m MC Sh!

t My Pants Frequently

It usually happens when I’m walkin' down the street

Or when I’m hangin' out with some fly ass hoes

There we go, thank god I brought a change of clothes

Yo I’m the MC with the final verse

I’m supposed to sum up everything you heard

But mothafuckas, I don’t really have the time

So fuck that and go back to the chorus guy

I’m still singin' the chorus

(Thank god wer’re almost done)

I hate singin' the chorus

(It's such a boring fuckin' job)

I’m gonna take my 40 bucks

(That's what they’re payin' me)

And I’m gonna go get really drunk

(Masterbate then go to sleep)