After Ever After 3 - Jon Cozart

If you’ve ever wondered why

Disney tales all end in lies

Here’s what happened after all their dreams came true

Was gonna be a mighty king

Mufasa’s famous heir

Well, your little mane’s been lion-tamed

By beasts who don’t fight fair

I’ve turned into the main event

For soldiers big and small

And now I dread my severed head

Might end up on your wall

Meow

Let me help this African economy

Oh, my species is going extinct

Everywhere you look, death

Taking shots at my pride

Thanks for that petition

To stop a straight up genocide

Scope, set

Rafiki’s brains are not a cure for AIDS

Now ebonies need ivory for pay

I don’t think Hamlet ended up this way

Oh, my species is going extinct

Oh, my species is go—

Every time I fly to town

I grow up when I come down

Now I’ve been stuck at age sixteen

For eighty years of puberty

In unforgiving tights

He’s upright, he’s upright, he’s upright

We’re following his leader, his leader, his leader

We’re following his leader

Wherever he may bone

Tee dum, tee dee

My teedle-dee's out to play

It’s one for all

The mermaids are wet for days

This engine’s revved

There’s only one booty for me

Just a teedle ee rump

A teedle ee hump tee day

Think of the fappiest thoughts

I’m a happy little thot

OK

Wendy is my special gal

She’s like ninety

I’m down

The dentures never bite

He’s upright, he’s upright, he’s upright

Hope he’s bi

He’s upright

Save my soul

Herc was on a roll

Now every god and goddess here is begging to atone

Replaced by intelligent design

The new guy’s rolling by and turning water into wine

The Romans are chanting, «Christo, Christo!»

He’s a godsend, bigger than Nero

Out with the old in with the Jew

Hero to Christo

God’s honest truth

Hero to Christo

Hey Herc, you’re screwed

The Jesus freak is super weak

I’m so divine

You see I came inside a virgin’s bod

So have I

I threw him in the Colosseum

A lion a la carte

Three days went by

He zombified

And rose up in search of hearts

I’m a prisoner of war

ISIS blew up my city

They’re throwing me off a building

'Cause they think that I like guys

A holy war

An old fantastical point of view

Carpet was burned alive,

Streamed nation wide

I can’t go back to where I used to thieve

Every turn suicide

A hundred thousand children plead

The toppling of Agrabah with Sharia law

Stop this holy war before we’re through (a holy war)

Unholy war (that's where we’ll be)

Just refugees (send helping hands)

Instead of bans for you and me

The lions are gone

Hair on my junk

Jesus is a hunk

Screw Trump