Trouble and Strife - Joan Osborne

Well there once was a man called Broadway Jim

He had the idea I was in love with him

He came real close looked into my eyes

Said I never met a man that I couldn’t despise

Then he cut off my tail with a carving knife

Give me ten long years of trouble and strife

Well the nice young men from the rodeo

Came down to Virginia just to say hello

They brought a lot of rifles and they brought a lot of guns

Lord they were tryna have some good clean fun

Next thing you know you’re runnin' for your life

For ten long years of trouble and strife

Well I once had a man he was tall and lean

He treated me like a superstar queen

We had a little cat got stuck in a tree

So we played him a record by Peggy Lee

He said who is that woman?

Gotta make her my wife

Give her ten long years of trouble and strife

There once was a girl called Sally G

And she built herself a nest in a redwood tree

Said goodbye to her mother said goodbye to her boss

Sold her possessions at a terrible loss

Then they tried to cut it down with a switchblade knife

Took 'em ten long years of trouble and strife

I think I’m gonna move down to New Orleans

Buy myself a pair of designer jeans

Gonna see what’s cookin' gonna make the rounds

By the time I’m finished weigh a thousand pounds

It’s a doggone shame it’s the story of my life

Ten long years of trouble and strife