Lydia The Tattooed Lady - Groucho Marx

Oh Lydia, oh Lydia

Say, have you met Lydia?

Lydia The Tattooed Lady.

She has eyes that folks adore so,

and a torso even more so.

Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclopedia.

Oh Lydia The Queen of Tattoo.

On her back is The Battle of Waterloo.

Beside it, The Wreck of the Hesperus too.

And proudly above waves the red, white, and blue.

You can learn a lot from Lydia!

La-la-la…la-la-la.

La-la-la…la-la-la.

She can give you a view of the world in tattoo

if you step up and tell her where.

For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paree,

or Washington crossing The Delaware.

La-la-la…la-la-la.

La-la-la…la-la-la.

Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia?

Lydia The Tattooed Lady.

When her muscles start relaxin',

up the hill comes Andrew Jackson.

Lydia, oh Lydia, oh have you met Lydia.

Oh Lydia The Champ of them all.

She once swept an Admiral clear off his feet.

The ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat.

And now the old boy’s in command of the fleet,

For he went and married Lydia!