A Secretary Is Not A Toy - Frank Loesser

Gentlemen!

Gentlemen!

A secretary is not a toy

No, my boy

Not a toy to fondle and dandle

And playfully handle

In search of some puerile joy

No, a secretary is not

Definitely not

A toy

You’re absolutely right, Mr. Bratt!

We wouldn’t have it any other way, Mr. Bratt!

It’s a company rule, Mr. Bratt!

A secretary is not a toy

No, my boy

Not a toy

So do not go jumping for joy

Boy!

A secretary is not

A secretary is not

A secretary is not

A toy

A secretary is not a pet

Nor an erector set

It happened to Charlie McCoy

Boy, they fired him like a shot

The day the fellow forgot

A secretary is not

A toy!

She’s a highly specialized key

Component of operational unity

A fine and sensitive mechanism

To serve the office community

With a mother at home

She supports

And you’ll find nothing like her at F.A.O. Schwarz!

A secretary is not to be

Used for play therapy

Be good to the girl you employ

Boy, remember, no matter what

Neurotic trouble you’ve got

A secretary is not

A toy

A secretary is not a thing

Wound by key, pulled by string

Her pad is to write in

And not spend the night in

If that’s what you plan to enjoy

No!

The secretary you got

Is definitely not

Employed to do a gavotte

Or you know what

Before you jump for joy

Remember this, my boy

A secretary is not

A tinker toy!