There's A Platypus Controlling Me - Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Vanessa: Dad?

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Oh, hi, Vanessa!

Vanessa: Dad, what are you doing?

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Well I’ll be honest I don’t really understand

But I fell down this hill and I got glue on my hands

Now I got records on my fingers

Kids: Whaaaat?

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Records on my fingers

I got records on my fingers and I just can’t stop

Kids: Don’t stop

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I can’t stop I got a platypus controlling me

Kids: WHAAAAT?

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I got a platypus controlling me

Now let me sum it up

It was a strange set of circumstances

Kids: Strange set of circumstances?

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I fell down the hill, I got glue on my hands now I got

records on my fingers

And I just can’t stop

Kids: DON’T STOP DON’T STOP

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Well I would if I was able

There’s a platypus controlling me he’s underneath the table

Kids: There’s a platypus controlling him—WHAAAT?

Kid: Oh I get it, platypus is a metaphor for whatever is keeping you down.

Like, corporations are a platypus

Kids: The government’s a platypus

Your teacher is a platypus

Weird Kid: My teacher is a panda

Kids: Society’s a platypus

My parents are a platypus

The media’s a platypus

It’s all just propaganda

Yeah, we all got a platypus controlling us

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: No just me

Kids: We all got a platypus controlling us

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I’d stop if I was able

Kids: We all got a platypus controlling us

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I’m not speaking metaphorically

The platypus controlling me is underneath the table

Oh wait, no, he’s gone!

Heyyy!

There’s no platypus controlling me…

There’s no platypus controlling me!