If I Were a Jolly Blacksmith - Cast of Galavant

If I were a jolly blacksmith

What a happy guy I’d be

I would do all kinds of blacksmith stuff

In my blacksmithery

I would hit the thing

With the other thing

'Till I made a different thing!

If I were a jolly blacksmith!

No, I’m not feeling it

Besides, I’d get filthy

There must be something better.

Ooh!

If I were a friendly farmer

Wouldn’t that be oh so sweet?

I’d be planting greens and lots of beans

And other things to eat

Then I’d plant some eggs, then a couple pigs

Then a yummy chocolate cake!

No, that’s not right

Besides, any moron can plant a cake

I want to be special, needed, liked!

I’ve got it!

If I were a merry brewer

That would be a grand career

I would pick the grapes and peel the grapes

And stomp them into beer

Dammit!

I don’t know how to do anything except be a king!

No one wants me to be a king

If I’m just a jolly nothing

What am I supposed to do?

I don’t have a skill, no niche to fill

No one to come home to

Don’t know where to go, don’t know how to fit

Don’t know who to even be

If I were a jolly tailor, juggler, barber, wet nurse, cesspool worker

Ugh, what difference does it make?

I would still be me