Levi Johnston's Blues - Ben Folds, Nick Hornby

Woke up this morning, what do I see?

Three thousand cameras pointed at me

Dude says, «You Levi?»

I’m like, «Yes, that’s me sir.»

«Well, you just knocked up the VP nominee’s daughter.»

So I tell him, «No, you got it wrong, mister

«Already got a girl, and her name is Bristol.»

And they all laugh and say, «Where you been, sonny?

«Your mother-in-law's a heartbeat from the presidency.»

And I say, «Mother-in-law?

No -- we ain’t getting married!»

They say, «Soon you will, boy;

she just announced it.»

I get on my dirt bike and ride to my girl’s home

Gonna lay down the law

And tell her what’s going on:

I’m a fucking redneck

I live to hang out with the boys, play some hockey, do some fishing

And kill some moose

I like to shoot the shit, do some chilling, I guess

You fuck with me and I kick your ass

So we talk and it turns out we don’t believe in abortion

And sex outside marriage is against our religion

And when I try to tell 'em I’m eighteen years old

They say, «Levi, it’s too late

«You gotta do as you’re told.»

So I say, «Mother-in-law?

No -- we ain’t getting married!»

They say, «Soon you will, boy;

she just announced it.»

I get on my dirt bike and ride to my girl’s home

Gonna lay down the law

And tell her what’s going on:

I’m a fucking redneck

I live to hang out with the boys, play some hockey, do some fishing

And kill some moose

I like to shoot the shit, do some chilling I guess

You fuck with me and I kick your ass

I’m a fucking redneck

I live to hang out with the boys, get on my snowboard, do some fishing

And kill some moose

I like to shoot the shit, do some chilling I guess

You fuck with me and I kick your ass

I like to shoot the shit, do some chillin' I guess

… Kill some moose