Det Var Ikke Sånn Det Skulle Ende - Atena

Jeg stryker hun mens hun hviler, hun drømmer vel om bedre tider

Ensomt ligg på knekte senger, lykkerus og hvite linjer

Hun er ikke dum, hun vet jeg lider

Fortsatt kald i varme dyner, garantert at hjertet lyver

Hun holder meg på kinnet, sier alt går fint mens jeg stenger alt inne

Istedet blir jeg sint

For jeg hater meg selv mer enn alt på denne jord

Dype sår som ikke gror, gjemmer meg bak stygge ord

Unnskyld, det var ikke sånn her det skulle ende

Jeg skal dra om ikke lenge

«Sunnhet i hver dråpe, gift i hver liter»

Rett som pappa sa mens jeg falt sammen i små biter

Hun er som vakre roser, kanskje alt som gjør meg glad

Jeg reiser alene under månelys

Gatelangs i byen og titter på hus

Spinner globusen rundt og ser til det øde

Legger ut på sjø sånn som morfar gjorde før han døde

For jeg hater meg selv mer enn alt på denne jord

Dype sår som ikke gror, gjemmer meg bak stygge ord

Unnskyld, det var ikke sånn her det skulle ende

Jeg skal dra om ikke lenge

Alt jeg ville bli, var å være sterk som far

Men her jeg sitter jeg redd med sprengte blodkar

Alt jeg ville bli, var å være snill som mor

Men her sitter jeg alene som en jævlig dårlig bror

«Hvorfor er du så rar?

Bare bli på fuckings NAV»

«Du klarer faen ikke en gang holde husleiekrav»

«Hvorfor sitter du der og kaster bort dagen?»

«Sammensatte ord metter faen ikke magen»

For jeg hater meg selv mer enn alt på denne jord

Dype sår som ikke gror, gjemmer meg bak stygge ord

Unnskyld, det var ikke sånn her det skulle ende

Jeg skal dra om ikke lenge

«For det er vel samme for deg om hele samfunnet faller?»

Det er samme for meg om hele livet mitt går under

I stroke her while she rests, she probably dreams of better times

Lonely lying on broken beds, intoxication and white lines

She's not stupid, she knows I'm suffering

Still cold in warm duvets, guaranteed to make the heart lie

She holds me by the cheek, saying everything is going well while I shut everything in

Instead, I get angry

Because I hate myself more than anything on this earth

Deep wounds that do not heal, hide me behind ugly words

Sorry, that's not how it was supposed to end

I'll be leaving soon

"Health in every drop, poison in every liter"

Just like Dad said as I collapsed into small pieces

She is like beautiful roses, maybe everything that makes me happy

I travel alone under moonlight

Along the street in the city and looking at houses

Spins the globe around and looks at the desert

Embarking on the sea like Grandpa did before he died

Because I hate myself more than anything on this earth

Deep wounds that do not heal, hide me behind ugly words

Sorry, that's not how it was supposed to end

I'll be leaving soon

All I wanted to be was to be strong as a father

But here I am sitting scared with burst blood vessels

All I wanted to be was to be kind as a mother

But here I sit alone like a damn bad brother

«Why are you so nice?

Just stay at fuckings NAV »

"You can not even live up to rent demands"

"Why are you sitting there wasting the day?"

"Compound words do not satisfy the stomach"

Because I hate myself more than anything on this earth

Deep wounds that do not heal, hide me behind ugly words

Sorry, that's not how it was supposed to end

I'll be leaving soon

"Because it's the same for you if the whole society falls?"

It's the same for me if my whole life goes under