All I Ever Wanted - American Pleasure Club

I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to you

I don’t know how I’m supposed to make it through

Even if I could do it easily

All I ever wanted was to be

Close to you, close to you

Close to you, close to you

Close to you, close to you

All I ever wanted was to be close to you

Lately I don’t know if I can make it

I’m dead broke, alone, watching HBO Go naked

I’m still sick, can’t find the strength to change it

Nameless chalk body, face down on the pavement

My best known hobby is probably sobbing, honestly

Kicked out QuikTrip, or hanging out the car, vomiting

Finding new ways to bother anyone still tolerant

While whispering, «What's worse?"to the ghost that’s still haunting me

I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to you

I don’t know how I’m supposed to make it through

Even if I could do it easily

All I ever wanted was to be

Close to you, close to you

Close to you, close to you

Close to you, close to you

All I ever wanted was to be close to you

Small town tragedies we bury

In the passing of time and the shut down Chevron at night

Somewhere beyond resting rusted cars

Stone churches, sports bars, football team America

Dead pets buried in makeshift cemeteries

Under cherry trees or redbuds in bloom in spring

I am new to this, I am a virgin to the world again

And at the soft touch of her hand, I unfurl my wings

If we spin it all backwards, this never happens

You never hit me, I’m still laughing

Not sobbing with my head on the sand

&small tremors running through the cracks in my hand

never stabbed, &I don’t feel the absence

passed along when he mixed his dope &Xanax

sticks around for his kids first day of classes

never takes that swan dive in Manhattan

I’m not sobbing, I’m only laughing

I’m not crying, I’m just laughing