The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions - Adam Sandler

And now a buffoon’s meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college.

Dean: Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations

on your upcoming graduation and I understand you are interested in matriculating here in the fall.

Buffoon: I got a snake, man!

Dean: Yes, pets are welcome here on campus.

Be it the traditional dog,

or cat, or even the occasional reptile.

Buffoon: One time I fed it some beer man!

It was slithering this way

and that!

It was all fucked up!

Dean: I’m sure it was.

Well we discourage inappropriate drinking among

both students and pets here on campus.

Buffoon: Fuckin’Shit!

Dean: Yes, that’s a not uncommon reaction to this policy.

So tell me a little bit more about your background.

Buffoon: My father’s a fucking asshole, man!

Dean: Hmm, I see.

Your feelings of rebelion are not unusual at your age

son.

Buffoon: My mother’s a piece of shit too!

Dean: Well, I hope you can find an outlet for your hostility over the

summer so you can come to school in the fall relaxed and ready to learn.

Buffoon: My teacher in high school was a stupid bitch, man!

She had her

head way up her ass!

Dean: Well the quality of the faculty at a University such as ours far

exceeds that of a local public high school.

Buffoon: Your secretary’s a real fat bitch, man!

Dean: Yes, she’s tried many diets over the years with minimal success.

Buffoon: I had diarhea last month.

I had to shit all fucking day!

Dean: Uh huh, Well we all get the occasional stomach bug, never a pleasurable experience.

So have you given any thought to your choice of major?

Buffoon: I’ve got a big fucking boner right now.

Dean: I see.

Well sexual arrousal is not uncommon during periods of nervous tension.

I do not take offense.

Buffoon: One time I ate my neighbors shit!

Dean: That’s understandable.

Well, I enjoyed meeting you.

We’ll be sending you our decision by the end of the month.

Buffoon: I bet you got really hairy balls.

Dean: Yes, it’s a veritable forest down there.

Bye bye.