Poor Fool, He Makes Me Laugh - Andrew Lloyd Webber, "The Phantom Of The Opera" Original London Cast, Rosemary Ashe

Gentlemen, if you would care to take your seats?

I shall be sitting in Box Five

Do you really think that’s wise, monsieur?

My dear Andre, there would apeear to be no seats available, other than Box Five.

Serafimo — away with this pretence!

You cannot speak, but kiss me in my husband’s absence!

Poor fool, he makes me laugh!

Haha, Haha!

etc

Time I tried to get a better better half!

Poor fool, he doesn’t know!

Hoho, Hoho!

etc

If he knew the truth, he’d never, ever go!

Did I not instruct that Box Five was to be kept empty?

It’s him… I know it… it’s him…

Your part is silent, little toad!

A toad, madame?

Perhaps it is you who are the toad…

Serafimo, away with this pretence!

You cannot speak, but kiss me in my croak!

Poor fool, he makes me laugh — Hahahahaha!

Croak, croak, croak

Croak, croak, croak, etc

Behold!

She is singing to bring down the chandelier!

Ladies and gentlemen

The performance will continue in ten minutes' time…

When the role of the Countess will be sung by Miss Christine Daae

In the meantime, ladies and gentlemen

We shall be giving you the ballet from Act Three of tonight’s opera

Maestro — the ballet — now!