You Can't Get a Man with a Gun - Ethel Merman

Oh, my mother was frightened by a shotgun, they say

That’s why I’m such a wonderful shot.

I’d be out in the cactus and I’d practice all day,

And now tell me what have I got?

I’m quick on the trigger with targets not much bigger than a pinpoint

I’m number one, but my score with a feller

Is lower than a cellar, oh you can’t get a man with a gun.

When I’m with a pistol, I sparkle like a crystal

Yes, I shine like the morning sun,

But I lose all my luster, when with a bronco buster,

Oh you can’t get a man with a gun.

With a gu-un, with a gu-un, oh you can’t get a man with a gun

If I went to battle with someone’s herd of cattle

You’d have steak when the job was done.

But, if I shot the herder, they’d holler bloody murder

And you can’t shoot a male in the tail like a quail,

Oh you can’t get a man with a gun.

I’m cool, brave, and daring to see a lion glaring

When I’m out with my Remington.

But a look from a mister will raise a fever blister

Oh you can’t get a man with a gun

The gals with umbrellas are always out with fellers

In the rain or the blazin sun

But a man never trifles with gals who carry rifles

Oh you can’t get a man with a gun.

With a gu-un, with a gu-un, oh you can’t get a man with a gun.

A man’s love is mighty, he’ll even buy a nightie

For a gal who he thinks is fun.

But they don’t buy pajamas for pistol packin mamas

And you can’t get a hug from a mug, with a slug

Oh you can’t get a man with a gun.