I Could If I Wanted To - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast, Santino Fontana

Whoop-dee-frickin'-doo, an «A»

What’s an «A?»

It’s just a letter on a page meant to distract us from the pain

But it’s not like any «A» can make a difference in the day

Sure, I could get an «A» if I wanted to get an «A»

But who cares about an «A?»

I don’t

I don’t care

Although I coulda made that grade if I did care

But I don’t

But I could if I wanted to

Whoop-dee-frickin'-doo, look at this guy

In the red-and-blue-striped tie

Makin' millions till he dies

Sellin' bonds and stocks to other guys in ties

Who have millions with which to buy a bunch of bonds and stocks and ties

I’d rather die, which I will, eventually, of course

But in the meantime, I could make millions

Sellin' stocks and bonds and ties if I tried

But I don’t

But I could, but I don’t

But I could if I wanted to, yeah

Yeah, I could if I wanted to

Who cares?

Whoop-dee-frickin'-doo, a happy dad

With his big dad calves and his stupid baseball cap

And his T-ball shirt and dumbass son

Throwin' a ball

Like it’s so important to know how to throw a ball

Whoop-dee-frickin'-doo!

Who cares about throwin' a ball or havin' a kid?

It’ll get ya nowhere in life

Not like gettin' anywhere matters

Although I guess it does if you care

Which I don’t!

But I could!

But I don’t!

But I could if I wanted to, yeah

Whoop-dee-frickin'-doo if I wanted to—

This song sucks!

I could make it good if I wanted to, yeah

Yeah, I could if I wanted to!

(spoken)

I could do that if I wanted to.

You’re an idiot.