Is Happiness Just a Word? - Vinnie Paz, Yes Alexander

Darkness comes beneath the dying stars

With all the blood and scars

My mouth will hunt you

With fear — I appear

Nothing will stop me

You crave the creature in me

Shattered, I will capture you

So run

My family don’t understand what I go through

Under diagnosed for 20 years, ain’t never broke through

You ever been in such a fog you don’t know you?

Never being able to do the shit you’re supposed to?

I wouldn’t wish it on anyone that I’m close to

Wouldn’t wish it on anybody that I’m opposed to

There’s not an accurate diagnosis to show you

Basic neurobiology isn’t close to it

I’m watching life as a spectator

I can’t help myself, even though I possessed data

It’s not a part of my spirit to want to test nature

You think you know what I’m feeling, cousin, then let’s wager

I’m having trouble retaining new information

Familiar scenes starting to look foreign- derealization

Everybody tired of being patient

Mama wondering why her baby crying in the basement

Constant rumination just exacerbates it

To the point where I can’t even barely narrate it

I’ve had doctors tell me that my mind is fascinating

But they can’t tell me why the sickness has been activated

Darkness comes beneath the dying stars

With all the blood and scars

My mouth will hunt you

With fear — I appear

Nothing will stop me

You crave the creature in me

Shattered, I will capture you

So run

My head don’t work, the meds don’t work

But I don’t want to be dead, dead don’t work

Sleep’s the cousin of death, the bed don’t work

Maybe I’d rather be dead;

dead don’t hurt

Realization of an inherent emptiness

Maybe that’s another sin for the pessimist

Possibly I am a jinn with a exorcist

I’ve fallen because I’ve been on the precipice

Maybe it’s my mama’s possible regret

Maybe it’s a neurological neglect

Maybe it’s the reason why water’s wet

The angular gyrus and where the frontal lobe connect

But maybe I’m being too complicated for you

Maybe I should just be calm and explain it to you

The psychiatrist thinking they could fool you

Paxil, Zoloft, it’s just wasteful to you

I’ve tried meditation, tried to sit in silence

But how the fuck that help a neurochemical imbalance?

Why would you tell a person that they were childish

Without an understanding of the pain that they surround in?

I always feel foggy somatic detatchment

It’s like my body isn’t connected to actions

It destroys everything that’s affected the fragments

I don’t have nothing but senses and sadness

Darkness comes beneath the stars

With all the blood and all the scars

Nothing will stop me

You crave the creature inside

Darkness comes beneath the dying stars

With all the blood and scars

My mouth will hunt you

With fear — I appear

Nothing will stop me

You crave the creature in me

Shattered, I will capture you

So run

Run…