I Used to Hate That Life - The Murderburgers

I have flashbacks every single time I close my eyes

I don’t think I want to close them anymore

I can think of a sure-fire way to stop them, but I don’t have the guts

I hope I’ll never ever have the guts

I don’t want to live a life of «I've been worse before'"s anymore

I’m losing days left, right and centre

I just want a pair of eyes to get lost in

And then a rectangular box to rest in

And a room with a view at the hospital somewhere in between

But the past is still haunting my dreams

I remember thinking everything would be fine

Then next thing I knew I was coughing up my stomach lining

In a homeless unit at the top of high rise flats

I was too embarrassed to let Holly come see me

I remember my dad telling me I looked like a junkie

To be fair to him back then he wasn’t too far off

On a regular basis I seem to find that things I thought I’d left behind

Still stop me from getting out of bed in the morning

And keep me lying here until the sunlight disappears

Then all that’s left for me to do is start counting

Every single spring that digs into my spine and ribs

Until I give up because I’m too exhausted

Then turn the TV on, set the volume to 6 then turn and face the wall

And pretend that none of this bothers me at all

I have flashbacks every time I look into your eyes

So I don’t think I’m going to do that anymore